Gender roles

I am totally against gender roles, I think a boy can like pink, wear a princess dress and play in the kitchen. I think a girl should get the same rights as a boy to learn about cars, and have dinosaur toys and pretend to be batman!

When (IF) I get kids I’m going to teach them to be just like they are, and I’m giving them the same toys, no matter what gender. I don’t mean I’ll just buy them cars to play with, but I would like my children to play with dolls, car, stuffed animals and dress up as both superheroes and princesses, no matter which gender they are. I will NOT paint my daughter’s room pink r my son’s blue just because that’s “how it should be”. If my girl decides to be super girly, that’s fine, but I won’t force it on her. (Same for my son, obviously).

My class is a only girl class (apparently guys don’t like photography as much) and we speak a lot about equality,  stereotypes, but also gender roles. And one thing got me a bit conflicted. Some girls, which I know fight really hard against injustices and gender roles, are almost a perfect example of the female sex role. I’m not saying I’m any different, it just got me thinking.

They all have long hair, wear make up every day, dress in girly clothes, and generally talk in and about girly things. I’m not implying that it’s any wrong with that, it just feels a bit weird that they fight against these roles while they still live up to them. One example is shaving. Guys like shaved girls, and it is the standard of female beauty to have shaved armpits, legs and uhmm.. personal parts. Most girls I know shave, including me, but they mostly say that they don’t shave for the guy, they shave for themselves. They don’t like having a lot of hair, because that is against their gender roles. But still they pledge they’re doing it for themselves not the society , but isn’t that exactly what they’re doing?


7 thoughts on “Gender roles”

  1. i agree, to an extent, but its definitely possible to fit the stereotype because thats who you are, or its how you were raised and its ingrained, and still not believe that men and women need to. I really dont fit into the stereotypical female role in a lot of ways, but I do have to say that I do shave, and it is for myself, not anyone else (although I wouldnt have started and known this if it werent expected). I feel thinner because I can feel my muscles more when I shave, which I like, and Im more sensitive shaved (no explanation necessary).

    1. I see your point, I don’t mean that all of these things are connected to the stereotypes or what’s expected for us women etc. I do believe that sometimes it is because of the personality itself, but I’m still wondering.
      I wouldn’t shave either if it weren’t for the beauty standards our society lives by.

  2. It’s so frustrating to be caught in that cycle – I don’t want to conform to gender roles, but I shave, wear make up, like dresses and I’m a cooking fiend. I want my children to choose what they want in terms of clothes/colours and toys because then I know I’m not forcing my ideas on them either.

    1. Yes, I agree. I’m not sure if you got that from the post but I do not intend to force anything on my children. I just want them to start out with an open mind and then develop in their own way!
      I know how you feel about all that, I too do not want to shave and all that but I do! I have somehow learnt that unshaved isn’t pretty.

  3. One of my teachers (of sociology no less, he should have known better) said we girls put make-up on for men only, so we can catch some looks and stuff. I was so pissed. If that were the case where my boyfriend at, yo? I (when) put my make-up on because that morning I feel like crap and I need some ego pick-me-up or because I genuinely think some mascara will improve my average looks or because I have so much time on my hands I get bored and I play with make-up a little. But I have never put anything on my face so boys would like me because I know they prefer not get my lip gloss on themselves when kissing and stuff like that. So it pains me that people who STUDY AND TEACH HUMAN BEHAVIOR think like that and it pains me that some girls take it as a holy grail and try to get men that way (or get totally overboard and look like Oompa Loompas thinking they’re hot).
    But I don’t agree with everything you said: yes, they can fight injustice but they can still wear girly clothes and stuff because they LIKE it and not because they’re hypocrites. I used to be so tomboyish people thought me a lesbian. I never minded because it’s not an insult to me, but people misinterpreted me as a person because of their own problems with gay people and society ideals. So I changes a little because 1) I wanted to (female clothes can be very nice without being pink and glittery and shit) and 2) because people stopped noticing my looks and stopped judging me by them and actually started to listen to what I said. We can’t make fast differences in culture because it’s too deeply incorporated, it passes down through generations. You can see it’s getting better because 100 years ago it was far from this, but it’s a slow change.
    Luckily we live in a world that live so fast we might see some serious changes before we die. But being dumb-ass girly saying shit like “I think a man should provide for a family while I look pretty and cook” is not the same as “I will wear this because I like it and not because society says I have to because I’m a girl” is not the same. The second is already an act of defiance. It may not look like it but as long as the girl KNOWS how she’s looked at and fights against it even while wearing pumps and pink flowery skirt, it’s something. 😉 So be glad even the girls that look douchebagy know that gender discrimination is wrong and that they try to fight it. 😉 You can look fab and be kick-ass at the same time 😛

    1. As always you have some really strong points! Though I might have sounded a bit harder than I meant. I don’t mean that girls that wear girly clothes are any less worth or that they are sucky feminists. I just think it’s a bit curious when they get angry over the gender roles (Not the whole kitchen thing, ’cause that’s awful) but that girls should dress girly, and then they are all really girly. Wow, that sounded harsh as well…
      To easier explain my point I’ll take the example of shaving, I don’t mean that all girls who shave does it only for the boys. I just meant if you step back a bit and look at the bigger picture, people shave because it’s the standard. Yes, most girls like themselves when they’re shaved, but it wouldn’t be like that if it wasn’t for the idea of beauty. Hopefully you’ll get my point. XD

      1. I do, I get the shaving totally. Yes, it’s a bad thing because it’s a standard that our culture forced on us, even men started to shave. Women used to be round on the edges, fat women used to be ideal (just look at old paintings) and unshaven and all, but I think it’s practical and hygienic to shave. Maybe not the legs but pits – definitely. Some nasty shit can happen if you neglect it and I for one am for shaving not because people say so but because you can limit physical problems that way (won’t go into details cause yuck :P). Legs are another story but I have to admit it feels great to gave legs all smooth and shiny. And despite people saying women don’t shave when single or when away from BF… bullshit. Like I said before, not every single thing we do is for men. We’re no animals, we don’t flash our buts to attract a male to pump us up so we can birth a kid every year. We’re too evolved for that shit. I hate those implications.
        I agree with you, there’s many weird people around that bitch-mouth about stuff but then do the exact opposite, but some people genuinely care and hopefully we’ll live long enough to see a shift in mind-set of our culture.

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